Top 7- Festive movies

You're almost certainly sick of it now, but here's this week's song. One that is some how a classic without being particularly jolly and about an army. It's also one of five songs my best friend knows and will sing all year round. So Ben, this one's for you. Stop the Cavalry

Christmas is fast approaching and people are excited. Unfortunately for me, it's a time where my cynicism is not even slightly welcomed. What this means for me is that I have to show the side of me that cares about stuff and is fully willing to admit crying at Toy Story 3. So snuggle up with a mug of hot chocolate, get under your blanket and prepare to see a top Christmas film list without Love Actually on it. Because it's not a good film. It's just not, okay.

7. Home Alone

Let's start with a classic. Home Alone is the original christmas hit that spawned a very unwanted franchise, with one sequel actually worth mentioning but more on that later. If nothing else, it's note worthy for being a film in which Joe Pesci has to not swear while going through the kind of pain that could make Goodfellas and Casino wince. In this film, 90s stereotype white kid has to defend his house from two bandits (the wet bandits) who want to steal his stuff. The plot is irrelevant. What's relevant is that this film is really funny and captures everything Christmassy into one, warming bundle. Just don't use that door knob.

6. Gremlins

Aw, just look at little Mogwai, Isn't he cute? Isn't he lovable? Don't you just want to pick him up, feed him after midnight and spill water on him so he turns into a horrifying monster that will almost certainly kill you, your family and everyone you've ever known? Oh, does that last bit not sound so good? Well, that's exactly what happens in  this, possibly the strangest Christmas film ever concievec. It's also home to one of the best death scenes in film. Don't argue, it is. If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch it. And remember the three key rules. Don't feed him after midnight, spill water on him or expose him to light. Or there will be consequences.

5. Elf

I never watched this film as a child. Many of my peers tell me how it's their favouritest Christmas movie of ever. But I never watched it. I think there are two main reasons here. 1. I only had it on VHS. 2. I didn't really feel like watching a film where the main character was a man in tights. But I can now say I've corrected that mistake and watched this film. What can I report? It's a pretty good film. Will Ferrell is Will Ferrell in his traditional man-child way and it's a glory to watch. As with almost all the films here, plot is irrelevant and joy is abundantly thrown around. In other words, a classic Christmas film.

4. A Muppet Christmas carol

How can you not love this film? It's a film starring everyone's favourite fuzzy friends spreading festive cheer to Victorian London and Michael Caine. Yeah, the story is simple and just an adaptation but it's a bloody great story and it works. It's cute, it's occasionally quite dark and it has Gonzo frequently breaking the fourth wall in the sweetest way. If you haven't watched it, you have no excuse. A timeless classic that's perfect if you're six, sixty or anywhere in between.

3. The nightmare before Christmas

What's this? What's this? There's Christmas in the air. What's this? A creepy fellow with no hair. What's this? Why it's the creepiest and most charming film that is made for Christmas time. Tim Burton hit his stride with this film and has struggled to recapture the magic since. While it's not exactly the most Christmassy film here, it's the most charming film here by a long shot. And that's saying something. The stop motion animation is the single most delightful animation ever seen and despite the subject matter and themes, that's the word to describe this film. It's delightful.

2. Scrooged

Bill Murray: one of the funniest, most sarcastic and lovable comedians ever. This film helps cement that image. It, like the muppets, uses the classic Christmas Carol story but updates it. By which I mean it's set in the 80s and New York. Still, it uses Murray's trademark comedic talents to great use. It's quite meta and also offers some interesting, if highly exaggerated, looks into the world of making TV. It's worth watching just for the heartwarming end speech alone. Bill Murray has rarely been better and it's a wonder to behold.

1. Home Alone 2

This film, like many people's favourite Christmas films, is not strictly the best Christmas film. It's just a film I watched a lot as a child and it's set in New York. Any film set in New York always gets an extra point in my books. But not you Spiderman 3. You suck, no bonus points can save you. But this film does everything a good sequel does. It keeps the same cast, adds some new cast members and raises the stakes. As in, it's now in the biggest city in the world. Basically, it's great. Many would argue that the original is better. I would argue otherwise. Plus this is my list, so deal with it. And enjoy the slapstick expertise on display.


And for those of you who expected Die Hard... Well, just sit tight. Something's coming.