The Quite Nerdy Blog

Another sterling week in the books for cinema, this time coming from Netflix, a company many blame for the death of cinema. See, up yours establishment! With all the flipping off done to the establishment, I guess we should apologise slightly uncomfortably by moving onto The Irishman , the new film from industry establishment Martin Scorsese, after which we'll get to Noah Baumbach's sob fest Marriage Story . In the vein of many of the Scorsese films we love so dearly, The Irishman  is a crime drama about the mob. Actually, scratch the word "drama", this is a flat out epic, not just for the already infamous three and a half hour runtime this bad boy carries. No, it's also an epic in the sense that this tells the story of a lifetime, specifically the lifetime of Frank Sheeran (no relation to Ed) as he worked his way through the Italian mob. He starts out doing bits of driving, then "painting houses", before the big guys start to really notice him, eve...

All of a sudden, 2019 has started pulling through and delivering some absolutely knockout movies. So great are they that I have simply had no choice other than to bust out a double review spectacular for the first time in a long time. We'll get to Knives Out  a little bit later but now, it seems like it's A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood . A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood  (upsettingly spelt the American way but we'll get over that) has been framed as a story about beloved children's presenter Mr Rogers. He isn't as much of a big deal in the UK but for those who want to learn more, there was an absolutely delightful documentary that came out last year called Won't You Be My Neighbor? which as well as being a good way of learning about Mr Rogers is an absolute sob fest because of how wholesome it is. Genuinely, if you're ever going through a tough time and have already seen Paddington 2  five times this week, it's a hell of a pick-me-up. It d...

This week, we've had two big superhero film releases and man... They're both pretty unforgettable, although in completely different ways. I have some pessimistic views on which will perform better and feel pretty strongly that it's going to be the one that makes the most money won't deserve it but the cart is coming before the horse, let's review these movies. Aquaman is the newest DC film which already puts it on shaky ground considering what a weak track record franchise that has and it's also a story about the silliest well known superhero, Fish Boy/Aquaman. His story is one which is basically reverse Black Panther with a splash of Shape of Water, in which his mum (Fish Queen Nicole Kidman) ends up falling in love with and shagging a lighthouse keeper and producing Jason Momoa, heir to the fish throne. He is to head back to Atlantis to try and stop his evil brother from waging war on the humans and to do so, he kinda travels around the world and does som...

That's right boys and girls, Halloween time is here and what's spookier than me putting in twice the work for yet another bullshit post barely anyone will read? Nothing, apart from maybe a masked killer with a knife and being alone in space. Fortunately two films came out recently that deal exactly with those things so let's review the hell out of them! Halloween (2018) is a misleading title right out of the gate because it's actually the 11th Halloween film and is positing itself directly as a sequel to the 1978 film, also called Halloween. That all sounds quite confusing so let me boil it down a bit. Forty years ago, Michael Myers was first let free (both on screens and in the narrative) and was put away after a murder spree in which Laurie Strode escaped free. This event changed her life and she spent the next forty years both scared Michael would escape and preparing herself to kill him if he ever did. In the mean time, she had a daughter who in turn had a daug...

Yeah, I know, I'm shocked as well. The guy who hates horror has gone out and reviewed not just one but two horror movies in one week. Obviously, I did it because this is the spookiest time of year; the month before Halloween. Spoopy stuff. IT is the horror movie of the moment (still) which you have probably already seen but I had other priorities so I'm only just getting around to reviewing it. The story is based on half of a Stephen King book about a small town in America called Derry (it's Stephen King so yeah, Maine) which is being haunted by a demonic figure who appears only to kids and mostly as a demonic clown. After the disappearance of one kid's brother (spoiler alert, the clown bit his arm off and it was sick), he decides to search for his brother and maybe get to the bottom of what is causing the string of disappearances with his friends, hanging out and riding bikes all Summer. I haven't read IT and so while I know about some missing plot points (chi...

The last ones weren't exactly masterpieces but this really is the bottom of the barrel here, the two worst films in this franchise that was spotty in quality to begin with. First, the movie ten years after the original that somehow manages to have worse effects and be far less enjoyable. Battle for the Planet of the Apes decides to set the events years after the last film and therefore taking away all momentum that it could have gained from that film. The plot is barely there but essentially, it's what the original film would be if humans could talk, mixed with the mutants from Beneath. I think the main ape is Caesar from the last film although so much seems to have happened since then (a bomb exploding in the nearby city, humans becoming second tier creatures) that it might not be. Anyway, he heads to a city to look for information about Zira and Cornelius because the other films have to be dragged through the dirt too. Oh yeah, that reminds me, it opens with five minutes...

Look, I usually try to be impartial with my reviews and remain open minded until I've seen the film but let's face it, these are not going to be good. The real question I want to answer here is how bad will they both be? First up, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Out of the Shadows (or TMNT 2 as I'll call it for the sake of not breaking my fingers typing) is the follow up to the last reboot of the Turtles franchise and while still not directed by Michael Bay, it certainly has his sticky Producer fingertips all over it. The story seems to follow on from the last one (I was blessed to miss it) with the turtles being the unknown heroes of Manhattan. They live underground but their peace is disturbed by Shredder being bust out of prison by his gang of ninjas who aren't turtles. This leads to the Turtles having to contend with Shredder, his new anthropomorphic Rhino and Warthog buddies Bebop and Rocksteady and the evil alien in a robot sui...

Yes, another double review spectacular so soon. Four movies in two weeks which is either great news if you actually enjoy reading the blog or is awful if you're still hate reading it. Regardless, this week we review two films, one of which I'm very interested in, the other of which I'm incredibly excited to see because it looks like exactly my kind of film. See if you can guess which is which out of Warcraft and The Nice Guys. Read the Warcraft review first and see if you can work it out after that. I want to start by making sure my allegiances to this film are clear. I'm not a huge fan of fantasy films and despite being a fan of video games, I've never played any games in the Warcraft universe. My only interest in this film was my love for Duncan Jones and I have been quietly pessimistic that the studio involvement would damage his tight and smooth directing style. Safe to say, it has not but I'll get to that. The story is pretty standard high fantasy stuf...