Review - Sonic the Hedgehog

After many months, memes and moaning fanboys, Sonic the Hedgehog has finally sped onto screens, perhaps not as quickly as we might have hoped but here regardless. I'll preface with this, I don't entirely know why this film exists. The popularity of Sonic as a character peaked in the nineties and while the meme culture behind him remains strong (something SEGA themselves have admirably leaned into), I didn't think there was much appeal in a live action movie based around the character. Yet, judging by the box office, I was clearly wrong and here we are, living in Sonic's world. Predictably, the plot of the film is a smidge bonkers. Sonic is an alien from another planet, who comes to our world as a child because his world isn't safe. He grows up here until he reaches an undefined age and causes an electrical wipeout that alerts the US government to his presence. Aided by a local cop who's moving to San Francisco, he is on the run from Dr Robotnik, a crazy scientist tasked with "taking care" of Sonic. The plot is a classic example of the "strange creature meets human and is on the run" genre (see also; E..T. and Midnight Special) but to be fair, if you're going to make the assumption that Sonic is an alien and have a plot where he comes to our planet, this is the way to do it. Should those assumptions be the ones we start with? Ummm, maybe not, but the fact is, it's a plot that is predictable but not in a particularly irritating way.

Performances are a strange thing to talk about with this film, because some of them are pretty good and some are slightly less so. Of all the people in this film though, I'm only going to talk about three. First, there's Ben Schwartz, the voice of Sonic. He's been in a couple of sitcoms here and there, generally a pretty good actor and here, he feels like the right voice for Sonic. The whole point of the character (to psychoanalyse this blue hedgehog from outer space) is that he's a cool dude, very overly sincere in how rad he thinks he is, there is not an ironic bone in this little guy's body and Schwartz carries that off! He is cheesy in all the right ways, he is as good a voice for Sonic as you could want. Less great is James Marsden as the cop dude. He isn't bad by any means, but it's a bland character and Marsden isn't quite an actor who can elevate stuff like this. Give him a great script like in 30 Rock and he'll work it well, but elevation ain't Marsden's game. The opposite side of that is Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik. I like Carrey as a comedic performer, although I'm that guy who prefers his more serious work in The Truman Show and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Point is though, he's back doing his wacky nineties shtick here and he is really fun and watchable. Sometimes, he can veer a little too close to annoying but he makes a villain who isn't on screen all that much memorable in a way that feels very promising for a potential sequel. Otherwise, the rest of the cast are fine I guess. No one outside of these three makes any real impact, but Carrey and Schwartz do certainly stand out.

The only reason the movie looks even slightly credible is because of the hard work of low paid animators and in honour of them saving the film, they've been laid off.

I want to start this paragraph by praising the animators of this film. As I'm sure you all know, the original trailer for this film was pretty awful, largely because of the character design of Sonic. It wasn't quite Cats awful but still, no one wants to see Sonic with human hands and teeth. In a move that is either highly commendable or a real shame depending on how much of a trainwreck you wanted this film to be, the studio listened, delayed the film and redesigned Sonic. Doing this meant working the animators to the bone over many many months, for which they were rewarded by having their entire studio shut down. For this, I want to say fuck you Paramount. The only reason your movie looks even slightly credible is because of the hard work of low paid animators and in honour of them saving your film, they've been laid off. The animation isn't amazing all the way through, but Sonic now looks like a character who won't scare your children, the kind of character that makes all the girls swoon and go "God, Sonic is so cute" (this sounds like sarcasm but is a genuine conversation I've had). That's my speech on that, but I don't know if I have much else to say on the film. At the end of the day, it is a children's film and it feels like that. If you, like me, are a semi-ironic Sonic memer, then you'll get little crumbs and references thrown your way but this movie is not made for you. It means the movie is largely kind of fine, but it does at least make the right move of being 100 minutes, so I'll give the film credit for that choice. Otherwise, fine action, solid jokes, fairly forgettable.

In an ideal world, Sonic the Hedgehog would either have been an apocalyptic mess for the ages in a way that makes it legendary or a really well crafted, fun time at the cinema. As it is, it's somewhere in the middle. It will not offend in any way (excluding in how the animators were treated) and you will probably forget it after a week or so. It is, in all honesty, the movie Sonic deserves in 2020 and I think I will give it a