Review - Terminator: Dark Fate



Terminator: Dark Fate is the sixth Terminator film, whether you can believe it or not. It's been 35 years since the first one, 28 years since the last one anyone cared about but fortunately, those are the only ones that matter. I know this because I've only seen the first two films and Dark Fate discards all the mess of Rise of the Machines, Salvation and Genisys (they seriously spell it that way, I'm sorry) and reset the franchise. You know, in the way that the last two did. Anyway, Skynet apparently don't exist anymore but some thing called Legion does and it's essentially the same thing, because it keeps sending back Terminators to kill someone who will be important in the future. In this case, that person is a girl named Dani and the resistance have sent back Grace to protect her, a cybernetically enhanced human instead of your bog standard Terminator. At some point, Sarah Connor and Arnie show up, because there has to be some hook to the film. If you have ever seen a Terminator film, you know what the structure of this film is, it's the kind of franchise where every film is just a repeat of the first film. This time though, the spice is that there's some stuff in there to piss off fans of Terminator 2, which I am too numb at this point to get angry about. It is another Terminator film.

Actors are in this film, as they often are in motion pictures produced by the big ol' dream factory over there in Hollywood. Some of these actors you may recognise, others you may not. It's wild. As a new character, there is Natalia Reyes playing Dani. She is totally fine, I have almost entirely forgotten her at this point. Also new to the Terminator universe is Mackenzie Davis as Grace. Now, she is actually pretty great. She's been in gems such as Tully, Blade Runner 2049 and my favourite Black Mirror episode, San Junipero and while this film isn't exactly a gem, she brings some life into it being (as the old Blade Runner quote goes) "more human than human" in a world full of empty shells. Returning cast members are here too though, one being Linda Hamilton who hasn't been in a Terminator film since the second one. She's doing fine. I dunno, it becomes kind of tough to judge how good someone's performance is when they have duff lines to deliver but she got into great physical shape for this, so credit to her for giving a shit. Speaking of, Arnold Schwarzenegger is back, as he has a knack of doing, and he's kinda crap. He has to deliver a bunch of very silly lines and while they're meant to be funny, they just did nothing all for me. That's all I have to say about the cast. Some of them are fine, others are less so, all are let down by a crap script.

Why does this film exist? I asked that to myself a lot while I was watching this. Is it for money? If so, call that a critical failure, this film had a poor opening weekend and is already fading from cultural memory. Is it because there was more story to tell? Long suffering Terminator creator James Cameron insists that there's more story here but it's the same story as all the other films and a proposed trilogy seems like a mistake that is already bleeding out on the floor of some studio somewhere. Is it because the Terminator fans demand it? Maybe. I was expecting this film to come and go, I did not think I would watch this film unless it was part of some miserable marathon in a cruel future but my flatmates suggested it and I'm never one to turn down a cinema trip. Clearly, there is some level of demand but as I was watching, slogging my way through dull action, poor jokes and shallow attempts to bring feminism to Terminator, I just couldn't find a reason for being in that cinema. The day after the screening, I was laid up in bed with a hideous stomach ache and thinking I would probably die (as everyone does when they're ill enough), I couldn't help but be full of regret that I had spent my last healthy hours seeing Terminator: Dark Fate.

The same day I saw Dark Fate, I also saw Parasite (which I already reviewed here) and I cannot exaggerate the cinematic whiplash I experienced. Going from one of the best films to the year to one of the most forgettable hurt me a little, but I did at least get to see Parasite and that made the day redeemable. Go see Parasite. Don't go see Terminator: Dark Fate, a film I give a


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