Review- Gigli
This year, my yearly tradition of reviewing film that are so bad it's scary continues as I review one of the bottom 50 films on IMDb in a year when Ben Affleck has now earnt widespread respect. Time for this film to undo all that very quickly.
Calling Gigli a film is insulting to the medium but I guess technically that's what we're dealing with here. It's the "story" of... Well, I'm not really sure. I think Ben Affleck is a gangster who has to look after a mentally handicapped guy who won't shut up about Bay watch and he is paired with Jennifer Lopez to do this. Plot twist though, she is a lesbian so he has to seduce her straight in what IMDb calls a "Crime, Romance and Comedy" film. Spoiler alert, it's none of them. The plot doesn't really exist and I never had any idea what was going on. Christopher Walken and Al Pacino stumble on set at points, look confused and leave. Still, in a film where the two leads were dating in real life, at least we know we are guaranteed some real chemistry.
Hahaha, you expected literally anything from this film, of course there's no chemistry. Ben Affleck plays Bro Dude Gigli (it rhymes with really, something he tells us in every other line of his dialogue and he is just insufferable. You know that guy who is so full of himself he genuinely believes he could turn a lesbian straight? That isn't just the plot, that's his personality. The thing is, Ben Affleck is the talented actor of the duo so Lopez never had any chance. It's never really clear why she ends up falling for Ben Affleck in this film but she does, after plenty of erotic monologues. I'm not sure if I found her a seductive lead because of her performance or because she is Jennifer Lopez and has the body of a goddess but when the only quote of hers I can remember is when she's seducing Ben Affleck and says "It's turkey time... Gobble gobble" then I don't think she's going to get much awards consideration, apart from the Razzies which she won. The handicapped guy is played by that guy from the Hangover who isn't in it much and is just offensive the whole time so he doesn't deserve more than a sentence of consideration. The aforementioned Walken and Paccino turn up but barely long enough to get a paycheck and shout one line. It's a shitshow from some people who have all shown far more talent than this on many occasions.
It's hard to know where to start with what else I hate in this movie. For a start, I got that "Saving Christmas" feeling where I was unable to feel anything afterwards only then I started to think about what I'd seen and I got really angry. I didn't even need to think about it too much to remember how offensive it is to so many groups of people. It's offensive to the mentally handicapped as the portrayal of one character as disabled basically consists of him making weird movements and talking uncomfortably about sexuality with no look at the human underneath the condition. It's also severely offensive to the LGBT community by implying that their sexuality is something that can be shagged out of them if the person is particularly good at it. Plus, there's Ben Affleck's speeches about lesbians "and their toys". I imagine the film is also offensive to gangsters because they are presented as being pretty crap and the only tough thing about them is that Affleck is so hot he turns a lesbian straight and Pacino shoots a guy in the head for no reason.
Gigli is a tragedy for the ages. It wastes some actual talent on actual genuine shit. It's pointless, painfully unfunny and genuinely offensive. Seriously, don't watch the film the Razzies called the "worst comedy of our first 25 years", it isn't even redeemable in a so bad it's good way. It's so bad it hurts and that's why this worthless film gets a
Calling Gigli a film is insulting to the medium but I guess technically that's what we're dealing with here. It's the "story" of... Well, I'm not really sure. I think Ben Affleck is a gangster who has to look after a mentally handicapped guy who won't shut up about Bay watch and he is paired with Jennifer Lopez to do this. Plot twist though, she is a lesbian so he has to seduce her straight in what IMDb calls a "Crime, Romance and Comedy" film. Spoiler alert, it's none of them. The plot doesn't really exist and I never had any idea what was going on. Christopher Walken and Al Pacino stumble on set at points, look confused and leave. Still, in a film where the two leads were dating in real life, at least we know we are guaranteed some real chemistry.
Hahaha, you expected literally anything from this film, of course there's no chemistry. Ben Affleck plays Bro Dude Gigli (it rhymes with really, something he tells us in every other line of his dialogue and he is just insufferable. You know that guy who is so full of himself he genuinely believes he could turn a lesbian straight? That isn't just the plot, that's his personality. The thing is, Ben Affleck is the talented actor of the duo so Lopez never had any chance. It's never really clear why she ends up falling for Ben Affleck in this film but she does, after plenty of erotic monologues. I'm not sure if I found her a seductive lead because of her performance or because she is Jennifer Lopez and has the body of a goddess but when the only quote of hers I can remember is when she's seducing Ben Affleck and says "It's turkey time... Gobble gobble" then I don't think she's going to get much awards consideration, apart from the Razzies which she won. The handicapped guy is played by that guy from the Hangover who isn't in it much and is just offensive the whole time so he doesn't deserve more than a sentence of consideration. The aforementioned Walken and Paccino turn up but barely long enough to get a paycheck and shout one line. It's a shitshow from some people who have all shown far more talent than this on many occasions.
It's hard to know where to start with what else I hate in this movie. For a start, I got that "Saving Christmas" feeling where I was unable to feel anything afterwards only then I started to think about what I'd seen and I got really angry. I didn't even need to think about it too much to remember how offensive it is to so many groups of people. It's offensive to the mentally handicapped as the portrayal of one character as disabled basically consists of him making weird movements and talking uncomfortably about sexuality with no look at the human underneath the condition. It's also severely offensive to the LGBT community by implying that their sexuality is something that can be shagged out of them if the person is particularly good at it. Plus, there's Ben Affleck's speeches about lesbians "and their toys". I imagine the film is also offensive to gangsters because they are presented as being pretty crap and the only tough thing about them is that Affleck is so hot he turns a lesbian straight and Pacino shoots a guy in the head for no reason.
Gigli is a tragedy for the ages. It wastes some actual talent on actual genuine shit. It's pointless, painfully unfunny and genuinely offensive. Seriously, don't watch the film the Razzies called the "worst comedy of our first 25 years", it isn't even redeemable in a so bad it's good way. It's so bad it hurts and that's why this worthless film gets a
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