Review- Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
*sigh*
Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Road Chip is the fourth (?!?!?) film in the Alvin and The Chipmunks franchise that has so far consisted of the first one, the Squeakuel and Chipwrecked. It features singing Chipmunks who are entirely animated and humans who can't act despite being talented and failing to interact with the animated 'munks. This particular film has them trying to sabotage Dave's wedding because they don't like the new Mum's son. It's an excuse for hijinks and a poor one at that. At least it's entertaining hijinks though, right? Wrong.
I guess I should talk about the acting. Dave, or Earl from My Name is Earl, is the Dad of the chipmunks. After four films, he should be able to stare into blank space and pretend there are balls of fur there but he just can't. He isn't funny and he just can't act. They got some big names for the Chipmunks but I don't know why because they're squeaky, furry hellspawn and it doesn't matter who or what they're voiced by. There aren't many other people in the film and fewer of note. Bella Thorne is there and has very few lines which means she's one of the best people in the film. She's also hot, even by redhead standards. Acting however, is not on anyone's priority list. Even Tony Hale can't do anything right as he plays a tamer version of Buster from Arrested Development.
Where the film somehow gets even worse is in the singing. It manages to combine everyone's favourite things into one easy package: high pitched voices, autotune and generic pop songs. Highlights include an excerpt of Sir Mixalot's Baby Got Back, something called Iko Iko and the hit new song by LMFAO called Juicy Wiggle. It's as wonderful as it sounds. The low light comes when there is a large scale performance of Uptown Funk in New Orleans. Uptown Funk is a song that can turn the most depressing of funerals into a total riot but none of that joy is here. All there is is pain. So much pain.
Please don't see this film. Don't take children to go see it. Don't support it in anyway. I illegally streamed it and I feel I've done too much. If you do anything with your time this week, watch the new season of House of Cards. It's really good, much better than season 3. I wish I'd reviewed that instead but now, I must live knowing that I watched this film. I don't know what stops me giving a 1 but that doesn't mean it's good. It's awful and still gets a
Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Road Chip is the fourth (?!?!?) film in the Alvin and The Chipmunks franchise that has so far consisted of the first one, the Squeakuel and Chipwrecked. It features singing Chipmunks who are entirely animated and humans who can't act despite being talented and failing to interact with the animated 'munks. This particular film has them trying to sabotage Dave's wedding because they don't like the new Mum's son. It's an excuse for hijinks and a poor one at that. At least it's entertaining hijinks though, right? Wrong.
I guess I should talk about the acting. Dave, or Earl from My Name is Earl, is the Dad of the chipmunks. After four films, he should be able to stare into blank space and pretend there are balls of fur there but he just can't. He isn't funny and he just can't act. They got some big names for the Chipmunks but I don't know why because they're squeaky, furry hellspawn and it doesn't matter who or what they're voiced by. There aren't many other people in the film and fewer of note. Bella Thorne is there and has very few lines which means she's one of the best people in the film. She's also hot, even by redhead standards. Acting however, is not on anyone's priority list. Even Tony Hale can't do anything right as he plays a tamer version of Buster from Arrested Development.
Where the film somehow gets even worse is in the singing. It manages to combine everyone's favourite things into one easy package: high pitched voices, autotune and generic pop songs. Highlights include an excerpt of Sir Mixalot's Baby Got Back, something called Iko Iko and the hit new song by LMFAO called Juicy Wiggle. It's as wonderful as it sounds. The low light comes when there is a large scale performance of Uptown Funk in New Orleans. Uptown Funk is a song that can turn the most depressing of funerals into a total riot but none of that joy is here. All there is is pain. So much pain.
Please don't see this film. Don't take children to go see it. Don't support it in anyway. I illegally streamed it and I feel I've done too much. If you do anything with your time this week, watch the new season of House of Cards. It's really good, much better than season 3. I wish I'd reviewed that instead but now, I must live knowing that I watched this film. I don't know what stops me giving a 1 but that doesn't mean it's good. It's awful and still gets a
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