The Quite Nerdy Blog

Look, everyone reading this who is worried about spoilers has probably already seen it but if you are still averse to anything remotely close to plot information, get out. I'm not going to spoil anything here, there's just a chance that you could interpret spoilers from my vagueness. Avengers Endgame is already basically the biggest film ever made. I'm writing this on Saturday and already, the record books are being rewritten [edit on Monday: yup, records have been destroyed]. The chances are, you've probably already seen it, maybe twice. If you haven't seen it, you probably won't and whichever camp you're in, this review is pretty much worthless. But I'm writing it anyway because we all know this review will get hella views because Endgame is hot shit right now. We pick up about three weeks after the end of Infinity War, where half of all life in the universe has melted into dust. Our heroes are all still struggling to get by, dealing with how each...

Right upfront, I've been having difficulties while writing this, in differentiating between Hellboy: the character and Hellboy: the movie so for the purpose of ease and light amusement, I'm going to refer to the character as Heck Chap because I don't care about this film at all anymore and I'm not sure anyone making it did either Hellboy (2019) is the third live action Heck Chap film we've gotten this century and at this rate, it should probably be the last. I confess I haven't seen Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, the film that preceded this, although I have seen the original of that particular iteration and I enjoy it quite a bit from what I remember. Those two films were clearly for pussies though as this Hellboy is violent and gory as hell (I promise I'll try and avoid that pun from here on), as well as unafraid to use naughty words. That should suggest a kind of badass swagger but it immediately starts on the wrong foot with the worst Arthurian legend p...

Feels like it's been a little while since we've done a Top 7, hasn't it? Usually I enjoy a nice little deep dive on some obscure topic I've become obsessed on and often I just end up reviewing whatever it is that Disney just unloaded onto our cinema screens but being away from a cinema I can use my swanky membership at right now means I've decided to tear myself apart trying to create a definitive ranking list that I'll hate in about a week. This week, it's a topic I've been meaning to do for a while, the most visually beautiful films ever. I specify visually because films can be sonically and emotionally beautiful too but I really want to focus more on the side of cinematography and production and costume design than those. Obviously, no one will be totally happy with this list and it's less a definitive list than an attempt to capture the films whose visuals have stuck with me through the last 19 and a bit years of my life but figured I'd do my...

At this point, in real life and on the blog, I feel like my anger over Bohemian Rhapsody has become very well known. I never actually reviewed it and while it's definitely too late to review it now (and I think that might require a second viewing which is out and out not happening), I wanted to take the time to properly lay out what it is I don't like about it. See, when the film first came out, there was a critical mauling which I fell very clearly on the side of. I saw it the day it came out and assumed I'd probably never have to think about it again, at which point it became a hit. It made almost $900 million (and still counting), was briefly on the IMDb Top 250 and won more Oscars than any other film did in this years ceremony. People love it. So yeah, I think you could say we have unfinished business. I also just wanted to make this post to spare my poor housemates who have had to listen to me ranting about it since October and by using my blog as an outlet for my ...

Dumbo (2019) is the first of Disney's live action reboots of beloved animated films that we're getting this year and I do not think it bodes well for the future. It's the story of two children whose mother has died and whose father has gone off to fight in the Great War, and therefore are raised by the circus. Their father comes back missing an arm and negotiates a new job at the circus, no longer a rodeo king but now a herder of elephants. One of these elephants has a baby with abnormally big ears and that is our titular Dumbo. Turns out, Dumbo can fly which attracts the attention of a very rich man who owns an entertainment empire, including a huge theme park. He wants Dumbo to come and perform at his park and that's where a lot of the conflict comes from, about whether the mass exploitation of talents for a huge company is ever truly right. Two problems with that synopsis though. Firstly, you may have noticed that I haven't mentioned Dumbo a lot. That's b...